Want to Become Attractive?
Find Your Personal Style!

Want to know how to become attractive to men? What makes a woman attractive, captivating, enchanting, lovely and magnetic to men is her personal style and her self confidence.

So, what IS personal style and how do you get it?

Personal style is how you dress, move, and look. It is your positive, unique, and interesting qualities. You become more attractive with the confidence you have and how you behave because of it. It always amazes me that some women I've met, dress and behave in ways that turn men off and are so totally clueless about it and then complain about the lack of good men!

If you want to know how to become more attractive to men, instead of thinking that you need to drop 20 lbs before you can meet your ideal guy, stop focusing on it! Instead, focus on what you like about yourself RIGHT NOW and you will become attractive to men even with 50 extra lbs! Trust me on this one! When I was super slim, but had low self-esteem, I couldn't get arrested! 40 lbs later but with a ton more self esteem, I have to beat them off with a stick! It's not about body size; you become attractive with love for yourself and how you dress, behave, carry and value yourself because of it.

If you don't care how you dress and you wear crappy clothes that hang on you or make you look frumpy, don't bother to brush your hair or don't add a dab of makeup, men see a woman who has "given up" or doesn't care about her appearance. Do YOU want to date someone who looks like he is wearing clothes that were lying on the floor of his apartment or torn, faded jeans that make him look like he only shops at the Salvation Army? Probably not, and neither does he.

So I'm NOT saying that you need to be different than who you are in order to become attractive...

I'M SAYING THAT YOU JUST NEED TO DO WELL WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.

A great question to ask yourself is, "How would I dress and act if I was ALREADY the woman I was committed to being, with the body I have RIGHT NOW?"

THAT is your personal style and how to become attractive and magnetic.

As far as clothing goes, men do not care about current fashion trends -- unless they are gay! Men don't know designers; they only know if you look attractive or not in what YOU are wearing.

What attracts men via your clothing is to wear clothes that look good on YOU, the way you are now, not 20 lbs thinner or 10 years younger. You want to wear clothes that make YOU look and feel your best, not what looks great on Heidi Klum this week. When you wear what makes you feel awesome, you become attractive and you radiate self confidence.

And you don't need to spend a lot of money to become attractive and have personal style either - there are plenty of outfits that can make you look great from one of the less expensive department stores like Ross.

Additionally, the concept of becoming attractive with your own personal style is to choose clothes that you love that express the essence of YOU. For instance, my sister calls her personal style, "Squad Cynthia", (she's a former cheerleader) which has a bohemian flair about it. She doesn't love ALL bohemian clothes or have a closet full of dashikis, but within the genre she picks the styles that look great on her figure and make her feel awesome. That way, despite the trends that come and go, her wardrobe always works because it is HER.

I have another friend whose personal style is "Casual Classics" and she tends to shop at Ann Taylor or Banana Republic and most of her items are more tailored-looking and traditional, but still casual enough for a coffee date.

Ideally, you should have three "lucky first date" outfits in YOUR personal style that you feel amazing in and are clean and ready to go at all times: maybe a simple tailored top in a pretty color (for your skin) and a black skirt (that fits well and is not too short), a casual shirt and jeans that fit you perfectly, and a cotton summer dress that covers your knees.

These three outfits can fit almost any first date you might have. And I call them "lucky" because if you are wearing things you feel AMAZING in, you instantly become attractive because you'll exude confidence, which will garner you a second date... Of course, you want to add some shoes with just a little bit of a heel or a wedge (because they make your legs look great and you can still walk in them!). No flip-flops on a date PLEASE!

When I was in high school, we didn't have a ton of money so when we went shopping for clothes and I tried something on, my mother would ask me, "Do you LOVE it?" because if I didn't LOVE it, I wouldn't wear it, or at least not often enough to warrant the purchase. And, if I wasn't sure if it looked good on me and I asked, "What do you think of this?", my mother, who was great with tact, would never say something like, "It makes you look like a cow," instead she would say, "It doesn't do anything for you".

While we are talking about how to become attractive and develop personal style, this is a great time to weed through your closet -- get rid of anything you don't LOVE and anything that "doesn't do anything for you" (even if you paid $$$) and only keep the stuff that reflects your personal style, makes you feel beautiful, sexy, put together and amazing! Give all your old clothes to charity - someone else will be better off with it and you'll be opening a space in your life (and your closet) for your ideal man as well!

Seriously, if you want to become attractive and have personal style on a budget, invest in quality classic pieces that might cost a little more (for ex., a great trench coat, a good full-length winter coat, the perfect little black dress), and then supplement with less-expensive items. Read or watch ANYTHING by Tim Gunn (from Project Runway) to learn how to find perfect classic pieces.

I learned this when I first lived in New York City and was working in offices where skirts and heels were a must. I shopped for all of my skirts at one of the giant thrift stores and found beautiful A-line skirts in various lengths that looked great on me and only cost about $3 each! And, I was the "Imelda Marcos" of Payless Shoes! Then I'd spend a little more on some quality tops, sweaters and jackets. Women in my office often asked me how I dressed so well on my salary!

What else? To become attractive to men, please join the current decade! We've all seen someone who is stuck in the decade that she thought she looked the best, whether she is still sporting the Dorothy Hamill or Farrah Fawcet haircut, blue eye shadow from the 80's or the baby doll flowered dresses from the 90's! Sporting an out-dated style actually makes you look older!

Become attractive by updating your makeup colors every so often. Take a fun trip to Sephora, where the sales associates are SUPER nice and friendly and can help you with the perfect makeup and colors for you. I've found that the Bare Minerals line looks great on me, doesn't break the bank and I'm often told how great I look and how clear my skin looks.

Men really love it when women don't look like they have a lot of makeup on and they prefer the "fresh dewy look", so experiment with what looks really good on YOU. Drugstore brands can often look just as good as department store cosmetics. I always buy drugstore mascara (L'Oreal Voluminous or Maybelline Great Lash - both under $10), nail polish (L'Oreal - $3-4), and Maybelline eyebrow pencil ($3), plus Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser to take it all off. To find some of the best (and cheapest) products voted by readers check the Allure and Cosmopolitan websites. I've found some of my favorite products that way!

What attracts men is longer, flowing, soft, touchable hair. Become attractive by getting a flattering hair cut and even if you have really long hair, get it cut at least once every three months to keep it looking healthy. This is another area where you don't need to break the bank -- you can get a good cut at a bargain salon and the cheaper shampoos and conditioners have the same ingredients as the expensive ones.

I really love the John Frieda line and they have this color glaze product that perks up my natural red hair and adds a tad of shine, which I ALWAYS get compliments on. And of course, get a good unscented hairspray. I like Suave - super cheap and it totally works, plus it doesn't smell after it dries so it doesn't interfere with perfume, if I'm wearing any. If I want to splurge a little (~$11), I also like Rusk hairspray.

It's better to stick close to your own shade of hair color and just add some highlights and low lights otherwise it won't go with your skin tone - and the same goes if you are coloring gray hair. We've all seen women with dark roots or wearing a color "not found in nature". LOL The Revlon and L'Oreal hair colors are inexpensive and actually look really good. You just have to find the one that best matches your own shade - and if you know how to mix color, you can create the exact shade you want, which is what I do (to cover my gray) and I always get compliments on the color of my hair because it is my natural color minus the gray!

Also, while becoming attractive by finding your personal style can mean clothing, hair and makeup, it means nothing without having good health and vibrancy, which can pay dividends. When you move like a woman who has excellent health, you become attractive. So, find ways to increase your vitality - a great workout program, regular massages, reiki/energy work, good vitamins, all natural hormone replacement (if you are 35+), etc. -- whatever works for you!

Here's the final piece of dating advice on becoming attractive with your own personal style -- always leave your house looking good. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like and that you attract what you focus on, so you don't have to look like you are about to go on a hot date, but if your hair is styled, you have a little bit of makeup on (even just a tad of mascara, concealer, blush, and lipstick), and some NICE casual clothes (think "Casual Friday" for work), not only will you feel more confident, but people will respond to it -- you will attract good things from it! I find that when I spend the time to make just a little effort, people treat me with more respect, sales clerks are more helpful and I often get asked for my number, even if I'm just at the library! LOL

When you have you own personal style through how you look, dress and move, you send a message of confidence (to men AND to the UNIVERSE) that says you love yourself. When you love yourself, you send the message that you are someone "worth winning" -- and -- you will attract your ideal guy.

Next up... What are you passionate about? Take the Passion Test!

Return to the Top of the Become Attractive with Personal Style Page

Return to the Lots of Dating Advice Home Page