What should I do when I haven't heard from my "Boo" in 2 weeks?

by Chachi
(United States)

I haven't heard from my "Boo" for two weeks now. I'm starting to worry. We have a 3 years age difference between us, and we're not rushing anything. I really really like him. What should I do - text him or continue doing nothing?

Answer from Coach Theresa: Hi Chachi,

Well, I don't know the full story here of how long you have been going out, whether or not you are "exclusive" bf/gf, how old you are, etc. But I will say that if you haven't heard from someone in 2 weeks, there is definitely something wrong. When a man is really into you, he wants to be with you all the time, talk to you all the time, and make time in his schedule for you. A man who is really into you would hate the thought of you being on your own and possibly meeting other guys if he isn't around for long periods of time. Also, age makes no difference when a man is really into you.

Sooooo... if you haven't heard from him in 2 weeks, either you are not a priority in his life because it's not a priority for him to say "Hey honey, I'm swamped with work/family/school for the next few weeks, but as soon as things settle down, I will take you out to dinner," or he has started seeing someone else and wants to break up with you and is too much of a coward to actually end things so he's just doing a disappearing act.

Even if he has to go somewhere to take care of an ailing grandmother for a month, a considerate man would call you every couple of days to chat and catch up and at least tell you what is going on.

I'm sorry to say this, but he is not the kind of person you want to continue dating. Even if you text him to find out what is going on, he will probably give you some lame excuse as to why he is behaving badly. There is really NO good excuse for why he can't contact you in 2 weeks unless he is in IRAQ or the hospital with a tube in his throat. You deserve better and you certainly deserve a man who is more considerate!

I would send a quick text saying, "Hey you, haven't heard from you in a while. Just want to make sure you weren't abducted by aliens or trapped under something heavy. lol. Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on between us because other guys are asking me out and I'm not sure what to say to them. Give me a shout and let's chat."

Then he will either: 1) ignore your text completely (so he is just disappearing), or 2) call or send you a text with an apology and an excuse for why he's been too busy to call or text. Either way, my opinion is that he is showing his true colors by not making you a priority and I would end it and move on. A REAL man makes you a priority and you deserve it! Even if he promises to keep in contact with you more in the future, you not being a priority to him will show itself in other ways.

With future boyfriends, you should have a conversation early on that you would rather them tell you if they don't want to see you anymore instead of just disappearing so that you can feel your feelings and then move on to dating other people without unanswered questions.

If you need any advice on how to deal with a break up, let me know. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

I wish you the best and let me know how it goes.

Take care,
Coach Theresa